I wish I could feel love. Like when someone is in love. Or at least have the person I love to love me back. People say I'm nice. The only happiness I get from that is when I make someone else happy. Then they just go away feeling better, just to be sad again. If I'm so much nicer than other guys, how come they all have just as much of a chance with a girl as I do? I don't know, I hear girls saying that lots of boys are so sweet, I think that maybe I'm not nicer than most boys. I am just normal. I just don't see them being nice because they are nice to girls and I'm not one.

I told this to someone and she said that I am definitely nicer than most guys, but "nice" doesn't mean anything in this world. I agreed, it's only good for cheering others up. Sometimes being nice doesn't do anything. Love doesn't come from niceness. The nicest, sweetest person has just as much of a chance of someone falling in love with them as a really mean person.

So I'm nice, people can come to me to be happier. But can they really? I don't see people coming to me saying that they know I can cheer them up, even if I have cheered them up before. I have some nice friends and I go to them when I am sad, and I know they will try to make me feel better. But what is good about being nice? Is it just so other people benefit from you? Does being nice bring me nothing besides the great joy I feel when I make someone happy? Or the "thank you" I receive? Yes they are grateful, and they recongnize me as "nice", but that doesn't make a difference in anything else. I don't try to be nice, it is just natural for me.

Then people think they aren't worthy of me or something. I'm kind of like the person on the sidelines that is available when you need someone nice. But unnoticed if everything is fine. I never have someone think of me instead of someone else. I'm not the boyfriend type, I'm the nice type. Boyfriends obviously don't need to be nice, they just need to have someone who is nice so they will stay with them anyway. The reason that being nice doesn't matter in love is because if you love someone then you can find niceness in anyone. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick who you love. A boyfriend or girlfriend should be a really good friend that you feel comfortable with more than your other friends. A friend turning into a boyfriend doesn't mean you are losing a friend, or it shouldn't. It should just mean you're getting a better friend. Kind of like better than a best friend.