But on to other things. Imagine there are 2 guys: Don and Jon. Jon likes car racing a lot, it's his way of life, but he doesn't race, he's a dedicated spectator. Don is as much into football as Jon is into car racing. One day Don meets Jon. Don had never heard of cars being in races before, and Jon knows a little about football since he used to be a small fan, but now he hates it. He hates anyone who likes football also, but he likes Don because he is nice, even though Don is a football fan. Don finds about Jon's love of car racing and he is curious as to what it is. He asks questions about it, like is it similar to horse racing? Do you get 6 points at a time like in football? How do you score points in car racing? What makes Jon like it, or what does he like about it? And why does Jon hate football lovers, he doesn't even know them? Of course Don doesn't ask all these at once, just over about a 2-week time. Jon doesn't like discussing it with Don because he says that Don asks "obnoxious" questions. But Don doesn't know anything about car racing, so how would his questions be obnoxious? Jon tells Don to change the subject whenever he mentions car racing or football. Jon is always down and sad and depressed. Don is good friends with Jon, one of his only friends and he doesn't like Jon being sad, so he tries to cheer him up as best as he can, but it never works. He can never make Jon feel better. One day Jon came to Don and he was actually in a good mood! Don asked what happened, and Jon said he got a new car-racing jacket. Don is glad that Jon is happy about something, but he mentions that Jon must only be happy about car racing things since he never could make him happy, and the car racing jacket did. Jon then complains that Don is turning the conversation into a car racing one, and that he better stop or else he will get depressed again and leave. Don apologizes, but asks what he can talk about that will keep Jon happy since only car racing things make him happy. Jon says that lots of people get jackets with cars on them, so does that make them car racing fans? Don says no, but Jon got one because he is a car racing fan, and now Don doesn't know what he can say that has nothing to do with car racing or football, but will still be enjoyable for Jon to talk about. Jon talks about car racing sometimes, and how he hates football fans, but he doesn't want Don to talk about it because he will ask questions.

This is my problem. Substitute me for Don, my good friend/ex-girlfriend is Jon, football is Christianity, and car racing is Gothic. This is exactly how it is for me, and I honestly don't know what to say to her without making her annoyed. I know that she likes being gothic and it is important to her, but she doesn't like me talking about it because I sometimes ask about it because I am curious and don't understand. I am a christian. If you read this can you please give me some advice of how to talk to her? Or could you have others read this? Please don't tell me things like "oh, that girl is so mean" because I'm not asking how she can talk to me better, I'm asking how I can talk to her better. Tell me what I can change, not what she should, because I don't have very much control over how she is right now. And I still want to talk to her too, so telling me to just ignore her won't be helpful either. Okay, thank you very much for your help, it will be greatly appreciated. ;)