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| Hurting
people by kindness |
1/22/2002 |
| How does one hurt someone by being nice and sweet you ask? Very easily. I have regrettably done it too many times. Even to this day I do. But how? It's simple really. I just care about others, I am very kind to them, I help them out with their problems, which I enjoy very much. I cheer them up, and basically I've been called the perfect guy for a boyfriend. Since girls like that in a guy, they compare me to other guys they know, and then they wish they could have me as their boyfriend. I would make their life so much better, they have been waiting all their life for someone like me to come along. I guess I am their dream come true. I'm not trying to be arrogant or have no modesty, I'm just saying how others feel about me. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm speaking too highly of myself. But anyway, they say I'm the best thing that could happen to them, and then I tell them I like Kelli. Love her actually. Then their dreams are shattered. I tell them we can be friends, and talk all the time, and it will be almost like going out. I mean, what can you do over the internet as boyfriend and girlfriend that you can't do as friends? Sure you can pretend you are snuggling, but that isn't really anything. But I guess just the fact that we aren't going out is what hurts them. They have found someone whom they longed for, and now can't have them. They are sadder than before they met me. Whenever we talk it makes them feel good, but they are still sad because they don't have a boyfriend, and I feel like I'm being mean by saying I love someone else. I know it's not mean, but I feel so bad telling them that. And I bet Kelli would say to forget her and go with them, but that's just one out of several. The others would still feel the same. Besides, it wouldn't be a permanent thing. It would only be for fun, because I will always love Kelli more. No one will ever replace her. And I don't want to go out with someone for fun, and have them fall in love with me, because it wouldn't be permanent. I couldn't do that to someone. Someone told me that it's not my fault this happens. I told her I know, but it wasn't my fault about September 11th, but I still feel bad. I wish I could make everyone happy.
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