I bet she just hates me right now. I know she will feel better later, but I hate making her upset. I talked to her friend, Meghan, to try to get advice. Meg told me that Kelli is pushing me away because she became more than friends with David, and now he hates her. She doesn't want to lose me. Well, tonight I feel like she wouldn't care about losing me. I feel like crying. When I told her it doesn't seem like she cares if I visit or not, she said I was being mean. When I told her I wasn't trying to, she said oh well.

I let her know I was talking to Meg, and she asked what about. It was kind of hard to explain without hurting her. I told her that, and she said fine and just left. Now I feel so bad, I was going to tell her, but I had to think of how to put it into words. My heart has been crushed, and now I wonder if she will ever trust me, or like me very much for that matter. Meg said she would really like me and Kelli to be together. She said that Kelli has a great guy (me) at her fingertips but just isn't taking it. I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm really sorry for hurting her, I would do anything for her. Funny, I used to think she was happy from me. Maybe she's right. Maybe I shouldn't care about her. She always hints at that. Was I just blinded by love all this time to see the truth? I don't know. I probably still am.