Jeeez, I haven't written in a while, have I? Just too busy I guess. Right now it's 7:19. I usually get up around 9:30 or 10, but today I made myself get up early so I could get a chance to talk with Kelli since she goes to school later. She's not on, though. Oh well.
Here's something that I don't understand one bit: I like debating things until they are resolved. No one in my family who is old enough to have a debate with likes debating. They say I carry it on too long, and they always end it before it's resolved, and then it bugs me for a while thinking about it. They always make sure they had the last word and then end it, like by shutting the door or something. If I try to have the last word, then I'm "keeping it going". My mom and Andrea say that I have to conform to others who don't like carrying it on. Why can't they ever conform to me and have the darn debate? They say it's not important, that the things I try to resolve aren't important. What is important? A weed is something that you don't want growing. That's the definition of a weed. If you don't want roses growing in your garden, then it is a weed in there. Important is the same way, it's personal preference. Just because it's not important to them doesn't mean it doesn't matter.
I've also been troubled by how I can know that I really love someone. I haven't had enough crushes or girlfriends in my past to know if I really love someone and to compare to the past girls. If I like someone now then I could just like them because they are one of the first. I don't know how I can know if I love someone for real, and how can I get a girlfriend whom I like when I don't know if I really like them a lot? A lot compared to what? To no one? Just liking someone is a lot compared to nothing. I know that I've had 3 or 4 crushes in high school and I have lots of girl friends online, but one rises way above the rest, even far above the crushes I had. But apparently, that's not enough. *sigh* I don't know what to do.
