| I got on the bus and felt like I had to throw up. Maybe it was because I was tired, or nervous........or because I missed her. It was early morning around 3 and I fell right to sleep, opposed to my virtually sleepless trip there. I actually left Monday morning, and slept until around 7. During the morning after that, I spent most of it looking out the window, thinking about how I had passed this all before, only I was going TO her house. Every inch the bus drove was another inch away from her. I would sometimes think about what was going on at my house, and what I would do once I got there, and then it would all seem dull with her not being there. When I was at Kelli's house, even if she was gone I knew that I would see her in a little bit. At home I knew that I wouldn't see her, not for a long time. The scenery reminded me of when I was coming to her house and thinking at how I was almost there. I would hope that my tickets didn't work at the next station and I would have to buy a one-way ticket, and Kelli's house was much closer so it would be cheaper. I felt nauseous off and on, and then noticed that I felt that way whenever I thought about how I was leaving Kelli and going back home. I had to lay down on my jacket and it reminded me of when I laid on her shoulder, and I longed for that. I saw my jacket and remembered how I saw it a lot at her house, and that she held it for me at the bus station. I decided to listen to music to get my mind off it. I took out my headphones and remembered how we had shared them at one of Joey's games. One of the songs was "Honey" and it really reminded me of her, since the guy was singing about how his hunny died and he misses her and how he loved her, and I could really relate. The next song was "Kryptonite" which was one of Kelli's favorite songs at the time. The next song was "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith, so I just turned off the music when it started. After a while, I actually cried, fortunately I had my dad's jacket to lay on/cover my face. I haven't cried since I was really young when people expected you to cry about things. I felt better afterwards, and I didn't feel sick either. The next day, about noon, I cried again, this time longer, though it only lasted a minute or 2. I didn't cry anymore after that. I had talked to my mom and dad on the phone and they all missed me, so I thought more about them than myself and felt better about going back home. I arrived at my destination at 10 am, Tuesday. At home, later, I kept talking about Kelli and her house, and comparing them to my family, but everyone got sick of it, so I stopped. Now, I still miss her dearly, but I can still live my life without thinking of her every minute. At least there's still AIM and the phone! :)
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