| I have nothing better to write about, so I'll write
about my Oreos. I guess I'll add untrue stuff to this tale of my
Oreos, though it could all be true, I don't really have any
knowledge of what my Oreos went through before they came to me. I'll
just retrace their tale starting with right now. Okay, right now
they are in my stomach, though parts of them are probably still in
my esophogas and mouth. But before they got there, they were in my
mouth, and in my hand before that. My brother came and set them on
the desk beside the keyboard because we were having Oreos right now.
Oreos, what a generalization. I mean, every Oreo is different, each
has a different amount of atoms that make it up. Everything should
have a code number assigned to it so that you know which exact
object you are talking about, like I just ate a 593756, so you would
know exactly how many atoms are in it, and every one of it's
physical properties. Then someone would know exactly how it tasted,
given we could remember what every number means. So anyway, the
"Oreos" were in a package in the store, but that's just the end of
their journey. They were trapped, in an up-side-down umbrella with
the fearsome Slapman towering over them. The enemies' hitmen were on
other missions, so he was all they had available. Anyway, there they
were, and the Slapman was just about to fill the umbrella up with water
when...oh, why not milk you ask, since cookies go in milk? Well I'll
tell you. Since milk is common with cookies, the Oreo base trained
them how to survive in milk, while faking that they are getting
soggy, so you still think they are getting soggy when they're not.
The enemy knew this so he gave the Slapman water instead. He was
just about to pour it on them when they whipped out their glass and
the water went inside it... how did they get a glass you ask? Well,
before this, they were on the trash man's table. He has to eat, too.
He bought them illegaly from a hacker who hacked into a smuggling
website and got a package of them sent to his hideout. The Oreos
knew that it wasn't their time to be eaten, so they pushed over the
glass of milk that the trash man put them in, and since he thought
they were all soggy, he was surprised they had enough strength to
push it over, and he's the kinda guy who cries over spilt milk so he
started crying and the Oreos escaped with the glass, which is how
they had it as defense against the Slapman. The Slapman, all out of
tactics, fled. Having no need for a glass of water, the Oreos poured
it out on the grass, not knowing that an ant hill resided there, and
ants don't like water in their holes, lol. They all scurried out and
saw the Oreos. The Oreos knew ants loved food, so they ran for their
lives and got ran over by a car. A pedestrian (one that didn't get
hit by a car) found them and saved them before it was too late. He
used to produce cookies, so he got out his ingredients and mended
the Oreos just in time, they were still unconcious, though. He felt
he should send them to a good home, where they would be safe. He
figured the best way to send them was in an old Oreo package he had
in the trash, lol. He put them in the mail, and the mailman (who
looks at the name, and not the address) sent them to the grocery
store, where they were purchased and eaten by me. That's all just
hypothetical though. |
