| Okay, well today was Nick's birthday. The day started
out with yardwork on my part, and then we went to a Memorial Day BBQ
at Bro. Steve's house. The card we got for Nick had a big smiley
face on it and I told him it was a Wal-Mart card because of it, lol.
It was okay at the BBQ, but I had to leave after an hour and a half
to go to work. Work was okay. Later, the people greeter, Sandy, and I
got in a conversation. I mentioned how most of the people in
Receiving are older guys, and Receiving is mostly physical work. She
said she is 53 and could work circles around us stockmen at pushing
carts in. She went into this story about how she was raised on a
farm, and learned how to drive a tractor at age 10, and how she
could lift more than us young boys and push more carts at a time.
Her daughter overheard and agreed with her. She said she could lift
a 90 lbs box of books, and most guys couldn't. She said I most
likely wouldn't be able to, either. A little later, I went to the pet
department and found a bag of 44 lbs dog food. I stacked 2 of them
on the ground, and lifted them easily, lol.
We got off early, so I had to wait 30 minutes for my ride, since
they were watching the Star Wars movie for Matthew's birthday, so they weren't home when I called.
During pushing carts, I thought a lot about stuff, mainly myself.
Like judging myself. It turns out I'm trustworthy unless it comes to
getting advice. When I want help with something, I tell them
everything so I can get the most accurate advice. Well, so far I
haven't gotten ANY good advice that way. And when I think about it,
I didn't even realize I was telling them something that I maybe
shouldn't. I guess I've done that often. I tell people they can
trust me, and at the time, I really believe they can. Only bad has
come from that, but the most recent time, was the worst by far.
Since then, I haven't told anyone things that they tell me in
private. I find myself wanting to, but then I suddenly remember, and
I don't say it. I guess it's too late now though, since I've messed
up this big already. It's like learning the hard way that jumping
from a 10-floor building will kill you. You learned it, but it's too
late now for it to benefit you. I don't know, I just feel really
bad... about a lot of things. I hate hurting people, but it's like I
can't get away from it. I'm learning how not to, the hard way. But
at least I've learned one lesson: don't tell anyone anything about
others, no matter how harmless and unimportant it seems to you. It
might, and most likely is, very important to the person who told
you. So, anyone who reads this, learn from my mistakes, maybe I can
at least help someone this way, by showing what NOT to do. I guess
I'm good for something now. |
