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| [Private Entry] |
| What is with
me? 2 |
8/1/2002 |
| ...The third and presently the last time this has
happened was with Carly, when we went to see "Reign of Fire." In the
car, I playfully put my arm around her real quick, and she moved
away and said she wasn't in the mood. I asked what was wrong. She
said she's tired and doesn't feel like playing like that. In the
mall, I elbowed her like I always do, and she usually "accidentally"
runs into me and knocks me out of the way. She just went "ugh" like
she wasn't in the mood. I asked if anything was wrong besides her
being tired, and she said there wasn't, it was just her being tired,
and that's it. When we sat down in the movie, I purposely sat so
there was an empty seat between us. I asked if I should come sit by
her. She said it's entirely my choice. I was trying to make her
smile or something, and say, "Get over here, Weirdo," as is her
habit to say to me when I'm pretending to not know her or something.
She didn't say anything. I decided to wait through the previews and
act as if I was going to stay there. When the movie started and she
still didn't say anything, I sat by her and said, "I decided to sit
by you. Were you wondering why I sat over there?" She shrugged and
said it didn't matter to her. After the movie, we went to her house
so she could tape DBZ. I laid on the couch and she went and laid
on the other couch. After DBZ, she said she better get me home since
it was late. I went along with her decision and got in her car,
shivering since it was cold out there and I had shorts on. She
turned the heater up. Then the feeling came. The whole ride home, I
fought back tears while trying to figure out why I felt this way. We
didn't say anything the whole time, until we were almost at my house
and she asked me what was wrong. I said I didn't know, but I've been
trying not to cry, and I was being honest. I really didn't know what
was wrong. She asked me what was on my mind, and I said, "Trying to
figure out why I feel this way." I didn't feel sad, I just felt like
crying, but couldn't figure out why. I told her this had happened
twice at Kelli's house. She said not to cry, and I said I wouldn't.
After trying to get to the cause of it without success, she said I
probably need sleep, and so does she, and that I would feel better
in the morning. She also said I should go now, because she was
really tired. I agreed and grabbed the door handle and said I would
see her later. She said, "Wait, give me a hug. The night's not
complete until we hug." (We always hug when we leave to go home) I
hugged her for about 20 seconds and she kissed my neck real quick
and said, "Bye." I felt better, and said, "Bye" too and left. It's
been on my mind ever since. I want to figure out what is going on
with me. As of yet, I have no idea. |
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