I can't say that I didn't have a hand in it, because I'm the one who started it. Back when we were close, I tried to help her out, though she didn't ask for it. So what? If your friend is sad, you try to cheer them up, even if they don't ask you to, which they probably won't. I tried to be a better friend by listening to her troubles and being there for her, and cheering her up. I wanted to help so much, and when some of the things I did didn't help like I thought they would, I sought more exprienced advice. Just like any kind of solution, you must give enough information in the problem, so I told them a few certain things she trusted me to keep to myself, and ultimately ended up not getting a solution, and enraging her when she found out. That wasn't very smart on my part, I admit that, but she forgave me, and we remained close friends. Then I got this "brilliant" idea to help her out with her ex-boyfriend who has been giving her so much trouble, mixed with her missing him, and I contacted him, despite her telling me not to, to let him know that his teasing was being taken wrongly by her. Although sounding thankful on the phone, the next day he gave her a piece of his mind about the whole thing and then she was yelling at me for doing so. Yeah, I can see how that was a stupid thing to do, but did I know that then? No. Does that matter to her? No. But she forgave me anyway, and we were still good friends. That was maybe almost a year ago, and since then, I've done nothing stupid or wrong to her, but she was continually annoyed with me. It grew to be what it is now with her rudely telling me to never communicate with her again, after we spent almost a month emailing almost every day and discussing these past events. From when I talked to her ex to now, it went from good friends to her wishing she didn't know me, all because I was annoying to her. I sent her flowers for graduating, I sent her comic books for Christmas (I sent the kind she really liked and wished she had more of), but all of it was too much. I tried too much and apparently it was all void of sincerity, and even now I can't see for one second how I was giving them without being sincere. Everything I did was because I cared for her, but that irritated her. Sure, she wanted someone to be with, and when she told me all the qualities, I matched up perfectly, except she said that I'm a jerk pretending to be that way. So when I drew a picture of her and me together and gave it to her, was that just to make her like me? How about spending time talking to her a lot, or emailing her, or writing her letters?

I suddenly got annoying to her because I still liked her but it stopped being mutual feelings. After that it was first she's nice, now she's rude, now she's nice again, now she doesn't care about hurting my feelings... But I talked to her whenever she wanted to. I was there for her, I stayed talking through her rude times. I wasn't rude back. But for some reason she always got annoyed by me. I've gone through and bore more than anyone should ever have to in a friendship, but I always welcomed her company and was nice no matter how bad she made me feel.

One time she pretended to be someone else online and made me feel like dirt, and then acted like nothing happened when she talked to me the days after. When she finally confessed, I was obviously upset about her lying and making me feel awful on purpose just for her own amusement, and even worse, she made fun of me about it later. I stopped talking to her for a while and said that I couldn't be friends with someone like that. Then she puts me down for ending the friendship when she had forgiven me for the things I did to her, trying to help her. She said I was the real cruel one out of us. Little did I know that she had done that stunt for the purpose of making me hate her and break up the friendship so that I wouldn't "like" her anymore. The purpose was to make me end the friendship, and she made me look mean for doing it. I cooled off, however, and we talked again, until now. I've annoyed her too much because of her own issues and she can't handle talking to me, so she terminated everything between us, and it wasn't something I'd want to be my last words to someone.

So, needless to say, my day wasn't so great. I'm glad I met her, though, because of the good times. But she doesn't want to give any effort toward getting back to that, so it wouldn't work, anyway. As stupid as it may sound, there will always be a vacant spot in me for the part of me that left with her, and there's always a chance I'll welcome it back.