First of all, whatever, I don't give one freakin' care if anyone feels sorry for me. I told it like it was. No sugarcoating, no exaggerating. And do I look perfect to any one of you? I hope not, because I'm far from it. If she can't appreciate me for who I am, and see the fact that she's not the easiest person to understand or get along with, then why waste my time, especially if she doesn't appreciate it anyway? And believe me, if anyone has the wrong idea about anyone, she's the one who has the wrong idea about me. She has to get over her problem with me, and to stop being so rude and critical. She says for me to stop trying to be perfect, but one has to be, obviously, to please her. Perfect as in: making no mistakes, understanding her despite all the unreliable things about her that never stay the same, expressing one's feelings, yet not the ones that she doesn't like, not helping her unless she wants it (but she doesn't tell you), and know the results of everything one does. So am I sad she's gone? Of course. Do I wish things were better between us? Yes. Is it my problem? No, she's the one who has to see reality, and maybe be a little more forgiving, and less irritable (lol, the song "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd just came on. Just listening to the lyrics explains this perfectly). If she doesn't want to talk to me, that's her choice, but I suppose it is the best thing for us to stop talking. I'm not doing her any good because she doesn't want to understand. I suppose she knows as much about me as she says I know about her: nothing.

But enough of that... I'm going to talk about my Easter. I went to church, of course. It was like it always is. Oh wait, yesterday it was the freakin' busiest day that we've had since Christmas at Wal-Mart. The carts were neverending and most of the time there was only one row inside. While I brought carts in, just as many left. Plus there weren't very many carts out there, so they must've been being used. It didn't die down until around 11. Fun. I finished just as the people inside were allowed to clock out and go home. Carly said to call her tomorrow (today) if I wasn't busy. Well, after church, we went to Bro. Jim and Sis. Judy's house and had an Easter dinner. It was good. We older kids got to hide Easter eggs for the little ones, and that's always fun. Of course, some of them had to be in very hard places, hehe. It's always fun to watch them and see how long it takes for them to find certain ones. Did you know Korn is cool? It is, but it's not what I'm in the mood for. *changes song* Ahh, "A Secret, Sleeping in the Deep" from the Final Fantasy VII soundtrack. So after the kids found them, we adults had one of our own in the house, though it was more of a figure-out-the-clue-that-tells-you-where-the-egg-you're-supposed-to-get-is search. Then we had dessert, and then set up a pinata for the little kids. They broke it open after a few hits so Bro. Jim used masking tape and taped it up really well and then all the kids got a turn, even me. They said I looked like a sword fighter or jedi when I swung it blindfolded.

I called Carly and she said she was just chillin', and kinda wanted to be alone. I told her that I understand, but I called because I wanted to see her (I'm a little lonely from the losing-a-friend bit). She said I could come over for a little while, so I did. I told her to tell me when I've worn out my welcome, and not later. We talked about general life stuff and I asked her what she thought about certain things about me. She said that I care about others and what they think too much and that a lot of people will use that. I said that it's a hard thing to change, but she disagreed and said that she's gotten screwed over enough times so that now she won't even make an effort if someone's being a jerk.

Well, we watched some TV and when nothing better to do was in the near future as far as I could see, I said I'd let her chill out. We said our goodbyes and I came home. Tomorrow Ami's supposed to bring her dye gel and do my hair. We'll see how it looks, lol.