I don't talk about my feelings much because there's no point. I don't get any benefit from it. It only makes things worse, even more now than ever. I was asked by Kelli to talk about them, however, so I'll take a chance and do it, though I'm probably making a mistake.

My dad just talked to me. I say talked, but talking usually involves brain functionality. He came in and said, with a stern look on his face, "Jason, turn the music down. Your mother has a headache and I know you don't know that but I'm--" So I turned it down and he said "lower!" so I turned it down lower. Then he just stood staring at me like he was really upset with me. He said, "Don't you know that your mother has a headache and loud music really bugs her?" I said it wasn't loud at all and she probably couldn't even hear any of it where she was. He went off on how I don't know what it's like to have a headache. I said that I turned it down twice when he said to. I don't know how low he wants it, and then he just stared at me. He said he stared at me because I had a disgusted look on my face. I explained that the look was because he was telling me to turn it down like I knew my mom had a headache. He said that he told me he knew that I was unaware of her headache before he told me to turn it down. I told him that the first he said was to turn it down before saying that he knows I don't know about her headache, and he argued (of course, with a raised voice) that he knows for a fact that he started it with "I know you don't know she has a headache" because he came into the room with that mind. Well, I know for a fact that he added that afterwards and I told him so, of course with my calm voice. He stood there and said that he thinks I need to find a new place to live. Oh yeah, that was so terrible, to disagree with him. Oh man, life as he knows it is ruined because he can't prove that the unchangeable events in the recent history didn't happen. I seriously feel like Dilbert with him being the pointy-haired boss. He says how we get into arguments because we are 2 men living in the same house. He says that I act in a way that I think I'm a man and can do what I want. I told him I think he overreacts and he retaliated with "this is my house!" (duh, I know it's his house, having certain possessions doesn't have anything to do with overreacting or not, so is he saying that having this house makes him overreact?) I said, "I know this is your house, but you talk about kicking me out when I do things when the other kids do the same kind of things. Because I'm older and a man, you automatically expect me to act how you're saying I do, so you basically put the words in my mouth." He asked how other kids do the same thing. He said that if I'm talking about Amy, he's also come close to kicking her out. I said Andrea's done similar things, like making a fuss about turning the music down or off. He said that it's not as bad when she does it because he can just remind her that she's supposed to be right before God and then she'll straighten out, but I'm a lot harder to deal with (because I had a disgusted look?). I said that I didn't even say anything, and I didn't have a problem with turning it down, I was just about to say something so my face was as such. He said it wasn't just this time.

Ugh, anyway, you see what I have to go through. Kelli sounds like she has to go through crap like this with her dad. Her dad sounds worse in ways (just being more immature) and my dad sounds worse in ways (taking everything to extremes). What's with this stupid respect? I hate that word! My parents always bring up that stupid word, and not even at applicable times! I'm joking around with them and they have to ruin it with respect. I have a debate and if I disagree, I'm being disrepectful. I'm sorry, but you can't just use your authority to weasle your way out of everything. When I have a dilemma, I have to sort it out with my intelligence and personality. They should have to do the same, not just make everything be solved in their favor because they say so. I don't want respect from people; not if it means they can't say certain things to me. If someone wants to say something to me, I want them to say it. I want to hear it pure, not through the filter of respect............... anyway... he changed it to if it keeps happening, then I'll have to move out. He just can't keep having these clashes like this. I said I'll do my best and he said that it was alright, but if my best wasn't to his standards, I'd still have to move out (we wouldn't have clashes if he didn't cry over spilt milk).