First we met online. We decided we should get coffee since we both really like it. We got talking about sex before we even met. Yeah, that might have been a mistake. Anyway, we met, had coffee, walked around a park and talked, went and saw a movie, and when we parted we hugged and she kissed me on the lips. Our next date we went to Sheri's and walked somewhere else to talk. We always seemed to get along when we talked. When we parted that time, I initiated the kissing and it was more of a 5-second make-out. She said I was a good kisser. Then she told me online that she thinks we should try to be just friends. I was bummed of course. I thought it was working out. But then she talked to me online that night and said she was having a bad night. She just got done with a bad date. It was 30 minutes before the New Year and I said we should spend it together instead of looking at computer screens. She liked that and we went to a park near where she lives and just walked around and talked. We both enjoyed it and we hugged at the end, only to have her turn around and want another hug.

We hung out a few other times after that, usually with me making the plans. We talked online almost every night and I was always laying the flirting on thick and she always seemed very receptive of it. I was always making her smile and laugh. Once we got to talking about interests in sex and ended up having cyber sex. She said this was very confusing, seeing me in real life and being my friend and seeing me online and being my lover. She had a strong sexual attraction to me and really liked being my friend, but didn't feel any relationship feelings for me.

Then one Friday night she said she'd be passing through my city and wanted to come see my place and rent a movie. I was cool with that, of course. Apparently she had just had a run-in with her latest ex-boyfriend, Evan. She still loves him. Anyway, we met at the movie rental place, decided to watch one I already had, got food at the Chinese restaurant, then went back to my place. Laura was there and she watched it with us. I ended up patting Ashlea on the knee in a friendly way and her hand instantly went to mine and we ended up holding hands. When it was time for her to go, we went outside and hugged for a long time, then started making out for just as long. Needless to say, I felt really good about it and that maybe she had decided to be with me.

Well, the next day, she called me, and at first it seemed like she just wanted to chat about random things. Then she got to what she wanted to say and it was that she felt she was leading me on. She didn't want to be anything more than friends with me and was feeling really bad for giving me the wrong signs. Of course I felt bad, but I was patient. I'd let her sort out her feelings. She said she's been in the same situation as I was in and the guy didn't tell her he didn't want it to continue for very long and it was just a bad situation, so she was wanting to avoid that and be honest with me and let me know how she feels so there won't be any miscommunication.

We still talked online like normal and hung out all the same. Hugs accompanied every outing. Then the night of Jan 25th, 9 days ago, she seemed to be in a bad mood. After talking to her about it, it turned out that she was getting tired of my flirting and compliments. She wanted to be my friend and I wasn't letting her because I was continually letting her know I wanted to be more. She thought if she was my friend first she'd develop feelings, but she didn't know. Well, that turned into a really in-depth conversation about what and who we went through to get to meeting each other. She was afraid of how sure I was about the relationship and I let her know that I wasn't at first, I was just really sure that I wanted to find out if I was sure. Well, that turned out to be a really good conversation. It ended up with me telling her about another girl that seemed promising and she was immediately jealous and said how it was stupid that she was pushing me away but then being jealous of another girl.

We had plans to hang out the next day. Well, the same night as the day we had that conversation, after she got off work, she called me and said I should come see her. I said that I was already going to see her the next day. She asked why I couldn't see her both times. I said I didn't want to drive up and back that much. She said I could stay there if I wanted, so I did. We played cards and other games, then it was time to go to sleep. She had an air mattress set up for me in the other bedroom and I slept there. She told me to wake her up in the morning when I was ready to be up because she'd sleep all day otherwise. She left her door open.

Well, nothing happened. I woke up that morning, went into her room to wake her up, decided to wake her up with a kiss on the lips, she didn't react, so I went and sat on the couch. After a while, I got up and went in there and just rubbed her arm and she woke up and was scared to see someone else in her apartment, then realized it was me and calmed down. She said I should lay down and I did. We laid there and talked and ended up holding hands. Then she cuddled up to me and I just held her. We made out for a while and she told me to show her how I like to kiss. She cuddled up to me tighter after we did that. We had to get up because we were tired of laying down, so we went out for breakfast. We watched a movie at her place and then she had to go to work.

We hung out a couple times after that and always would kiss at the end. We talked online after that and on Monday the 29th, 5 days ago, we had a conversation about when I spent the night and it was nice. She told me she likes me. She wasn't telling me "no" like she had been in the past. The next day we continued it and it turned into a talk about our interests in sexual bondage and she went into detail about what she would want me to do.

(continued in next entry due to lack of room)